from Pride and Shame on Youversion
What is the radical solution to pride and shame?
Humility.
Pride leads to disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.
Proverbs 11:2 NLT
If that doesn’t sound very radical . . . it really is. To be humble in this day and age is to defy all cultural norms. Our society (like most societies in history) holds up performance and public opinion as the two great defining bastions of self-worth. Those who perform get applauded and rewarded, while those who fail to do so largely get ignored.
This is not to minimize the value of performance or the opinions of others. Those who have “performed” well have been responsible for many of the great advancements in history. This is not an advocacy for idleness, nor is it a total dismissal of what others think about us. It is, instead, a recognition that performance and others’ opinions can never be the basis of a fulfilled life. Humility is required for that.
What exactly is humility? It is not, as some might believe, thinking less of ourselves (which is a kernel of the shame we are trying to avoid) – it is thinking of ourselves less. It is being so concerned with others that we turn our attention toward them rather than ourselves. And this “attention” is not a disguise for gossip, envy, or jealousy . . . it is an earnest desire to see the best come to those around us – even if it costs us something in the process.
Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up in honor.
James 4:10 NLT
Humility is the antidote to both pride and shame because it eliminates (or at least minimizes) the common denominator between the two – self. When self is removed from our mental picture, pride and shame have a hard time surviving – much less thriving. A humble person will still feel good about the things they’ve accomplished, and they will still value the opinions of others, but they will do so not from an insecure place of pride and shame but from a secure place of pre-determined identity and outward focus that strives to fill up others rather than be filled up by them.
When Jesus noticed that all who had come to the dinner were trying to sit in the seats of honor near the head of the table, he gave them this advice:
“When you are invited to a wedding feast, don’t sit in the seat of honor. What if someone who is more distinguished than you has also been invited? The host will come and say, ‘Give this person your seat.’ Then you will be embarrassed, and you will have to take whatever seat is left at the foot of the table!
“Instead, take the lowest place at the foot of the table. Then when your host sees you, he will come and say, ‘Friend, we have a better place for you!’ Then you will be honored in front of all the other guests. For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”
Luke 14:17-11 NLT
This is the kind of life that God wants us to live, so much so that He promises grace to those who will humble themselves and live according to it. It is, at its core, a choice, but it is a choice that we are more apt to make if we can grasp a few important truths on the front end. Next we’ll identify those and discover why they’re so important to a life of humility.
Prayer: Lord, teach me to be humble. Help me to learn humility not through humiliation but through a willing decision to put others first and to consider their needs above my own. Your Son did this even though He had every reason not to be humble. He could have demanded service but instead chose to serve and to give His life for those who would die without it. Help me to imitate Him in my everyday life and to know what it means to be humble and to let You do the exalting. In the name of Jesus, Amen.