from Relentless Hope by Meghan Martinez
Judah.
That was the name of the little boy in my belly. We were incredibly blessed to find out pretty early on in my second trimester that I was having a little boy. We decided on the name because we loved the meaning. The name means “praise,” and we felt like the word “praise” would mark the next season of our life – that it would be an anthem for us. In our minds, we had walked through three miscarriages, and now we were three weeks safely into the second trimester. In fact, the night before we lost him, we saw him rolling around on an ultrasound after a visit to the hospital. The next day resulted in another visit to the hospital that ended in a heartbreaking delivery.
When I got home, I was in a fog, barely able to get out of bed. But the following day, I could only think about why we chose the name Judah. I could feel God drop a little thought into my heart:
“It’s still a season to praise.”
So she called the name of the Lord who spoke to her, “You are a God of seeing,” for she said, “Truly here I have seen him who looks after me.”
Genesis 16:13
I wish I could say I sprung out of bed and started jamming to praise music. Instead, I let my phone pick the song for me, and I lay on my floor. The song “King of My Heart” came on. I felt gutted by the lyrics. If you’ve never heard the song, there is a part that repeatedly says, “You are good.” The song continues, saying, “You will never let me down.” Hearing that song years later still makes me emotional. I cried a cry that I don’t wish for anyone to cry. “Let down” couldn’t even begin to describe how I felt. I doubted every bit of goodness at that moment. But I made up my mind that day I was going to sing that song until I believed it. I could barely get the words the first time. But I forced myself to sing that song through buckets and buckets of tears. For weeks and months, I played that song over and over. I listened to the words “You are good” until I sang them with conviction.
Not everything is good. You will walk through seasons of your life that are absolute hell. But hang onto the goodness of God. I loved what David said:
Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.
Psalm 42:11
Remember God’s goodness in your seasons of delay and heartbreaking disappointment. Worship is your weapon that helps you wage war in every season. You don’t have to be a good singer. Trust me. But play those songs over and over and sing them loud until you believe them.
If we get back to the story of Hannah, we learn what she did the morning after she left the temple.
They rose early in the morning and worshiped before the Lord; then they went back to their house at Ramah. And Elkanah knew Hannah his wife, and the Lord remembered her.
1 Samuel 1:19
Do you know nothing had changed for her? She was still childless, not pregnant, and hadn’t seen the answer to her prayer. But she worshiped. Learn to worship God and remember who He is in every season of your life.
Incline your ear, and come to me; hear, that your soul may live; and I will make with you an everlasting covenant, my steadfast, sure love for David.
Isaiah 55:3
Do you know what it says right after Hannah worshiped? The Bible says that the Lord remembered her. He remembered her prayer in the temple that day, and in God’s timing, her prayer was answered.
Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe,
Hebrews 12:28
If you feel forgotten about, know the Lord remembers you. He hasn’t forgotten about you, and he hasn’t forgotten about your prayers. Worship your way through every season.
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