Real threats at small schools. How do we know what to do?

By Melanie Standiford

Twice in one month now, I have had parents reach out to me about legitimate concerns at small town Nebraska schools in our areas. I’m not talking about run of the mill kids picking on kids. I’m talking about real paper lists with kids’ names on lists with plans of violent actions written down by other kids.

Out of respect for authorities in various stages of working with kids in these situations, I am not revealing what I know about detailed specifics, but I have some relevant questions for parents, students, staff, administrators, law enforcement, and everyone else to ponder.

If your child’s name was at the top of a list with other kids “planning to kill the kids on the list,” how would you react once you found out? How would you expect to learn about this list? Would you want to hear about it right away? Would you want to hear about it from the school, from strangers, or from your child?

How would you feel if you had zero contact from authorities (the school, law, etc.) unless you were the one knocking down barriers? Would you send your child to school? If so, when?

This article is not meant to stir up trouble. It is meant to create conversation about what people in society – in real life – expect. Many people send their children off to public school into the care of others, expecting to get them back the same (or better) than they sent them. Good parents want to exercise a working relationship with public schools to know what is being taught and to assure a safe environment for teaching (both for and by the students and others) on school property both physically and mentally. Or that would be my personal perception, anyway.

In the first situation brought to my attention, a young person was targeted by another. The list maker supposedly got suspended, but there was no support system in place for those students targeted. And what happens when suspension ends? The parents are concerned that nothing is really being addressed. And when really bad things do happen, the first thing people say is, “there was no sign this was going to happen.” But I believe there is always a sign.

Everything can be predicted to a point if we pay attention. I’m encouraging people – everyone – to take extra time to pay attention to each other.

Today, parents were notified (edited after parent clarification) by kids in another school of a similar incident. Teachers were vigilant at doors, and kids were scared. So were parents until it was resolved. The school never reached out to tell parents what happened. This was all communicated by the kids to their parents.

What is the follow-up? I’m asking because the conversation needs to happen everywhere. If we are teaching kids in small schools how to duck and cover, and how to be scared, we get to be responsible for teaching them all of it, and that includes empathy and caring for each other after the fact.

There’s no point in my telling which schools this occurred in. It needs to happen everywhere.

Just my thoughts.

More on this developing story

Nebraska – in the 3rd grade
One family reaches out

I love how hard our teachers work. As a substitute teacher I have seen it first hand. I know some of these teachers devote their lives to other people’s kids. They spend more than they make in money and emotion to invest in the kids’ futures. This article is in no way taking from that true devotion. Conversations still matter. And that is why I write.

The parent of one little 3rd grader at a nearby Nebraska school reached out to me after my first school story yesterday. His mom explained her son was in school when the “scary situation” happened. It was one of the situations I referenced.

She describes a normal day. Her husband was there to pick up their son at 3:30, Friday afternoon, waiting in front of the school with other parents.

As a rural volunteer fire fighter this dad was naturally on high alert, even though he did not hear a page, when he witnessed a deputy speed up to the school in his car, exit the patrol car, and sprint past him and into the school. He wondered if he should assist.

Nothing was said about the incident so he put it in the back of his mind. Of course, the school was not able (or did not) mention anything.

Later over the weekend with other people talking, and gossip starting (with no guidance of truth), the talk of a list, a student looking at violent material online, etc., and now the student supposedly being monitored at home, this family opted to keep their 3rd grader home from school Monday just because they did not know what was true and what was not.

They told their young son he could stay home because it was his birthday, but they were scared for his safety with no word or guidance from what was actually happening at the school.

Later, they pulled their son aside and talked to him to see if he had seen anything or heard anything while at school Friday.

It turns out, this little boy was in the hallway walking back from the library when the deputy was sprinting down the hall. His classroom is right down the hall from the main office.

Now, the boy and his family want someone to answer what they should do with these memories? What should they do if and when the boy making the threats comes back? Or what should they do next time something happens?

The school is able to do a soft lock down without jeopardizing confidentiality when it comes to safety. In the Panhandle we see this all the time at Gering and Scottsbluff schools when there is a threat inside or outside of the school. The size of the threat does not matter. School goes on as normal, but kids are locked in and the threat is handled while parents are address and communication happens. The breakdown in smaller schools seems to be the outer layer of communication, and that may be where this needs to start.

This particular family is contemplating homeschooling in the fall, which is certainly an option and one I am all for if the parents are up to it. Teaching is a joy and a lot of work, and especially rewarding when you get to do it yourself and watch your children grow and learn. But that it a different conversation.

I agree with the parents of this story. Kids should feel safe wherever they go to school. To be a child should not consist of worrying about being on a list for violence or bullying of any reason. There are some really great teachers out there. I’m hoping the administrations will access their minds for ways to handle some of these problems.

Thank you to the families brave to reach out with personal stories. Sharing can make a difference.